Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh
Niaje Guys!!
You’re all probably wondering what has been keeping me so
occupied, seeing as the last time I posted something was about over a month
ago. I posted on my Facebook page about two weeks ago that I wasn’t dead or
anything of the sort, and that posts were coming up soon. Then again I doubt
that two weeks later can still be dubbed as soon. Well I felt the need to
explain myself and so that is what I’m doing now. Basically, I was busy
settling back into school and freaking out about life.
Firstly, this is my second last semester of uni and my
graduation is in August in shaa Allah. Let’s just say your girl has been trying
to not lose it under all the pressure of maintaining a good GPA and all the
other responsibilities that come with my life in uni, not to mention my
personal life. We could genuinely say that my life in uni is kind of like a
profession and then my personal life is just that, my personal life. And it is
all quite hectic. Not that I’m complaining, I actually prefer having a tonne of
stuff to do rather than having nothing to do at all.
I’m guessing by now you’re thinking, Kadzo, every semester
is stressful and ‘professionally’ exhausting for you, what in the world makes
this one so different? Well, fear. That is the one word that describes how I
truly felt at the onset of this semester. I’m an International Relations major
taking a minor in Journalism and my passion has always been in journalism;
however I let people talk me out of doing that because I was afraid that if I
was to fail, everyone would be pointing fingers at me saying ‘we told you so’.
I remember one
incident in primary school where my head teacher asked me what I wanted to be
when I grew up. I had always admired news anchors and thought that would be a
great way to earn some money. I had been told plenty of times that I was great
with crowds and could speak quite eloquently and confidently. Anytime there was
a school event, I would be called upon to say a prayer or a vote of thanks or
even perform something, and I absolutely loved it. Not only did I love how much
I enjoyed it, but I loved the recognition and attention it came with. If you’ve
been reading my blog for a while, you probably know how much of a Primadonna I
am. And I honestly don’t see anything wrong with that. However when I answered
my head teacher with the word journalism, she looked at me with eyes of dismay
and said, “why would you want to do that?” You can imagine what kind of effect
such words would have on a nine year old kid.
When I approached my family with my decision to pursue
journalism, I realized that they were also completely against it, claiming that
the Journalism field in Kenya was crowded and that I was too smart to waste my
brains on journalism. So then I ended up in International Relations
reluctantly, but then ended up falling madly in love with it. I’ve come to
learn so much about the world and how politics plays such a crucial role in our
everyday lives. Moreover, I came to learn much about Africa and began
appreciating my land, its culture and diversity, which was contrary to how I
felt about it before. It’s not that I hated my continent, it’s that my thinking
was so westernized I literally began seeing Africa as the ‘dark continent’
which is extremely far from the truth.
When I realized that my uni offered minors, I was elated
because that meant that I could pursue International relations as a major and
Journalism as a minor; which is exactly what I decided to do. My concentration
in my major is peace and conflict, and my concentration on my minor is broadcast
media. As of now, I only have one IR course remaining which I am currently
taking; Regional conflicts in Africa. Consequently that would mean the only
remaining courses are my broadcast courses, which are quite intense, hence me
freaking out. This semester I have two journalism courses both of which are
extremely practical. It’s one thing to have to film every single week, edit and
present it and then be graded on it and it’s another thing to be the only
newbie to be in that class, filming, editing and presenting. Everyone else in
my class is a Journalism major so they’ve basically had three whole years of
training whereas I’m coming in as a first time student. I basically have to
work twice or even thrice as hard as the other students just so I can compete
at the same level as them and get a good grade; which is crucial as I don’t
want to be getting grades that lower my GPA when I’m so close to graduation.
It’s quite challenging I must admit, and sometimes I even
ask myself whether I’m capable, but I always remind myself of the verse from
the Qur’an where Allah The Exalted says, “ Allah does not charge a soul except
with that within its capacity.” Surah Baqarah, verse 286. This basically means
that whatever you have on your plate, however stressful or daunting it may be,
if it is on your path, then by Allah you have the strength and guts to survive
it and be successful at it if you put in the work. And because I worked so hard
at this course, I ended up performing even better than my classmates who are all
journalism majors Alhamdulillah. So much so that there’s this one girl who I
believe was the top student before I came along, who literally hates me because
I’m doing so much better than her. I can’t help but feel bad about that but I
won’t go around kissing ass just to get someone to like me when I didn’t even
do anything wrong. Remember when I wrote about stopping girl hate? Yeah I still
maintain my stance, why can’t we all just help each other out?
I can’t help but think about the late Steve Jobs when he
said that the dots can only be connected looking back. As I look back on my
journey, I’m actually really glad that I took IR as a major and Journalism as a
minor which is something I never thought I would say. I love both courses
passionately and I’m so grateful to Allah (sw) that He had my back through all
this. I’m happy with where I am and how far I’ve come Alhamdulillah. This
definitely doesn’t mean that I have everything figured out, but I do feel
confident that Allah (sw) has a plan for me; and for you too. We may plan, but
Allah (sw) plans too, and He is the best of Planners. One thing I will say is
never shy away from a challenge. You guys already know that I do not do so well
with failure, but it such a crucial part of life that I feel teaches us more
than success does. Don’t be afraid of doing something because you’re afraid of
failing, that’s how you learn and grow.
So how do I survive uni you ask? I think ET the Hip Hop
Preacher said it best:
“So when you fail a class, don’t drop it, don’t just stop
going, you’re going to the end of that class. Because I want you to know
something, when you start that class over the next semester, you won’t be
starting from scratch, you won’t be starting from the bottom, because you’re
already all the way up here. Now all you have to do is go a little further. So
keep reaching, and keep climbing.”
Granted no one likes to fail and even retake a class, but he has a good point. Keep pushing and keep climbing.
