Finding Myself...

Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh!

Hiiiiiiii! :)

Source: Tumblr

Assalam Aleykum guys!!Oh my goodness.I don't even want to count how long it has been,i mean are you kidding me?Subhanallah ok,ok let me just calm my nerves and explain to you guys where i have been and what i have been upto.

Last i checked,i was letting you guys know about all the adventures i would be taking part in, that is the meetings and school expeditions.Well,those happened.And then finals came and i just felt so exhausted subhanallah.I literally just wanted to throw in the towel and just take a breather.And so when the holidays came,even though i had the urge to write,i still couldn't because i had to prepare for the next semester's activities for the various clubs i'm in and i still had an assignment to finish!!!!Can you believe that?FYI our holidays usually last for about three weeks to a month and sometimes we get spill over assignments that are submitted through email...baah (-_-).So yeah that was my ordeal.As you can see,i have been quite busy even my holiday was full of random to do lists.But Alhamdulillah, i learnt alot and I survived!What do you know,what doesn't kill you actually makes you stronger!

To add onto all that,it got to a point where i just wasn't happy with where i was and who i was. There was an emptiness inside of me that made me lose my motivation. Everything felt wrong if that makes any sense.I had lost my direction and so i was walking around carrying out different functions that weren't fulfilling to my life.I didn't have that feeling of felicity and even when i did, it just wasn't enough.Thus i knew that i needed to take a step back and just rethink everything and really search within myself to find out what i really wanted and who i wanted to be.

So when the Journey of Faith conference came to Nairobi once again, i knew this was exactly what i needed.The Journey of Faith conference is a three day Islamic conference that is subhanallah,so amazaing!I was not able to attend the first one that happened last year,so when i had the opportunity to attend this one,i knew it was Allah SW's plan for me.I felt that i needed that recharge in my Iman and that this was what i needed in my life.That connection i had with Allah (sw) was lost and i desperately needed to get it back.Alhamdulillah,the conference exceeded my expectations.It was absolutely breathtaking and all the lectures were insanely inspiring tabarakallah.May Allah (sw) reward all those who were involved in making this fabulous,blessed event such a success.Ameen.

Alhamdulillah fast forward to current times,i'm feeling much,much better and it is only by Allah (sw)'s grace and mercy.I have made quite a few changes in my life that have improved my inner well-being a great deal.Although i'm still a diamond in the rough and i'm still working on becoming a better muslimah.Basically i'm at a better place,much better place Alhamdulillah :).
I have also been blessed so much that i'm now working on opening my own boutique in shaa Allah...SO EXCITED!So please make dua for me.

After all the stories,i would really like to apologize for the lack of posts.As my avid regular readers know,i have not been having wi-fi in my apartment and had to go all the way to the school library to access the internet.Furthermore, lack of a camera has also constricted my creativity flow which also contributed to my loss of motivation to post.Because i like giving you guys,creative,interesting content to indulge in and all this was killing my vibe :(. But Alhmdulillah i now have wi-fi again!!!May Allah (sw) make it beneficial for me Ameen.

I had really missed blogging and i absolutely love my blog and love producing beneficial content for all my readers.I therefore want to keep up with my blog  and my writing as i love doing it and finding a creative outlet to release my thoughts and emotions is always a healthy thing.I pray you guys are all doing extremely well in shaa Allah.I want to thank all those lovely sisters who have been checking up on me on  my facebook,leaving comments on my blog,following me on twitter, Jazakillah khayr!!!I love you guys so much subhanallah and i pray Allah (sw) increases us in love for His sake.Ameen!!
See you guys really soon in shaa Allah.Bye!!!

To My Dear Future Daughter...

Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuhu!

Heeeyyy ;)

Image via Pinterest

Whenever i imagined giving advice to my daughter,i always envisioned giving her words that felt like ice cream on a sunny afternoon.But when i stumbled upon this on tumblr,i couldn't help but nod my head along to every single word.As a muslim girl, my mind never fathomed the fact that one day i would be able to relate to such aspects of life.But we all have our on journeys in life.

When i was little,i pictured myself living the life of the perfect muslimah.Going to school,getting married,raising kids.Basically smooth sailing,no bumps on the road.I had everything planned out.But one day i woke up and it dawned on me that the perfect muslimah is full of flaws.That she has perfected the art of making mistakes,that she cries and she laughs.She likes people she can't have and wants things she can't have.
But she also learns and grows.She learns that the beauty she sees in others didn't come easy.Just like she struggled to be the butterfly she has become,others did to.
And that at the end of the day, its all about being better than you were yesterday and giving it all you've got.So...

Dear future daughter:

1. When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t
regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.


2. Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.


3. No one is going to save you, anything you’ve ever read or heard otherwise is bullshit.


4. One day someone is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when they leave you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.


5. Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If it’s midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwords, go the fuck to bed.
So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.


— Abbie Nielsen (Ps.i also don't know who she is,but someone let her know we appreciate this :) )

Looking back at terrific 2014!!

Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy

Hey guys!

Can you believe its already 2015?WHAT!?The year has just flown by like one of those goodbye tissues in sad cliche movie scenes that we just can't stop watching.Nevertheless,2014 has been such an amazing year for me and i am extremely grateful for all the experiences i managed to stumble upon.I therefore decided to share some of these reflections with my awesome readers!I do apologize for the lack of posts though, i have been super busy with uni,swamped with tonnes of course work.Plus,this semester was filled with a number of trips so i was constantly on the road which i am not in the slightest bit complaining about!
It was actually TONNES of fun! *insert mischievous laughter*

So now you are in the know,lets recap!

What were the three best things that happened in 2014? Well,

• I got to travel to Uganda, which made it my first time out of the country.YESSSS!!!!

•  I went for a hike and survived!!!Not only that but it was so much fun that i am actually thinking about doing it again.However,the blisters,pain and exhaustion that come with it lead me to second guess my decision.
• I finally accepted that it is ok not to have all the answers.I was the kind of person who constantly calculated every move and worried about every outcome.I was not happy with where i was and Alhamdulillah 2014 was the year when i said, i am going to be bold and live my life to the fullest!No more sitting by the sidelines and watching life pass me by.Alhamdulillah now i can say i am so much happier because i put my trust in Allah (SW) and i know that wherever i am is exactly where i am suppose to be, and if i don't like where i am,i have the strength to change my situation.

Machakos scenery during the hike.

Up we go!

 What were the three worst things that happened in 2014?

• I have to say i wasn't as involved in Islamic events such as halaqas (Islamic circles) and darsas (Islamic lectures) and i also didn't gain as much knowledge as i would have loved to.I was too preoccupied with school and everything else i ended up neglecting my Islamic studies.Gaining knowledge helps a great deal in strengthening one's eeman and so when you take your Islamic studies for granted,in the end you are sabotaging your eeman.Which no one wants.
• My Camera was stolen.Yo i needed that camera.Anyways it is the will of Allah SW and i am content with it.
• My phone was stolen.No i am not careless or clumsy these things happen ok!Moving on...

What did you learn about yourself in 2014? That...

•  I want so many things and have so many dreams!My mind is constantly preoccupied with random things and if i don't take time out to just sort things out and put everything into perspective,i will have a nervous breakdown.Hence taking time out is key.
• I also learnt that i am capable of so much more and i should stop making excuses because only losers do that.And while its normal to be afraid,don't let the fear of failure or what people think stop you from being who you are and doing what you love.
• I really need to start being a morning person.Awwh man :(

My favorite 2014 experience.

• Feeding Giraffes at Haller Park!!(Which is a game park btw). It was quite a new and need i say slimy experience.I mean those guys have super long tongues but i loved it anyways!Especially because it was a family outing which does not happen very often.Although the hike to Machakos and trip to Uganda were also super amazing.

 

 

My biggest accomplishment of 2014.

• I would definitely say surviving my research methods course.Boy was that course a struggle and a half!At the beginning of the semester,my friends had warned me about taking that course with that particular  lecturer.Ofcourse being me i just shrugged and brushed it off.Little did i know i was signing up for my most challenging course yet.Looking back now i am really glad i took it up.If i had dropped the course it would only have been because of fear and that is definitely not what i am about.Furthermore, i am quite happy with how i performed so i feel that i did preety well!

Most amazing place i visited in 2014.

•  Machakos was preety amazing,but the scenery in Haller park was also quite breathtaking.Then again it is a game park so...yeah.It is also located in my home area so i don't really think that counts.And for some reason i only visited the park this year?

Best food you tasted in 2014.

•  Has to be 'Gonja' i hope i got that right, which is roasted bananas.A common delicacy in Uganda.Also 'Rolex' which is basically Mexican omelet rolled in chapati!So it's kind of like Shawarma only not as fancy seeing that its just plain omelet and chapati.

Favorite book of 2014.

• Unfortunately,not much reading happened during 2014.I I was reading the book 'How To Be Hap Hap Happy Like Me by Merrill Markoe and although it did not turn out to be what i expected from a self help book kind of view, i still enjoyed it.I think its a great read full of humor and such rich literature so i was quite content and glad that i actually read it.

Favorite movie of 2014

• I did not watch as many movies last year.2014 was definitely a series year.But,i did fall in love with the movie Stuck in love.I never get tired of watching it.

Best song of 2014.

• Mesut Kurtis - Eidun Saeed feat. Maher Zain.I loveeeeeeeeeeee this song!It just makes me want to have Eid every single day.Love it

• Sauti Sol- Sura Yako.I know it says favorite 'song' but come on, no one likes just one song!Everybody knows that!

• Davido-Aye...need i say more?

•  Moelogo- Thinking out Loud_6words (cover). I can't even.I just.can't.

Best event of 2014 you attended.

• Has to be the Mshkaki festival!I mean i got off from the plane and felt super emaciated!So i told my brother i was hungry and the next thing i know we're at the Mshkaki festival which i knew nothing about.Hence my excitement.Can you imagine being hungry and then finding yourself minutes later at a festival with all the local delicacies you can gobble down!?The people,the music,THE FOOD and it was at night which made it even more magical.It was the first time an event like this had been held so i was really grateful i was able to attend it.By the way Mshkaki is a swahili word which refers to roasted meat on a stick and then the meat is dipped in various sauces depending on one's liking.It's quite the delicacy here in Mombasa. 

THE END :)

I hope you guys enjoyed reading my post!I pray that this year will be even more awesome for all of us.May Allah (sw) allow us to be better,improve ourselves in every possible way,may we strive to please Him (sw) and may He (sw) forgive us for our shortcomings.Allahumma Ameen.
That being said,what was your favorite part of 2014?Comment,tweet,Facebook or even Instagram me because i love hearing from you guys!Bye!

It's about not giving up.

Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuhu!

Hey guys! :)

Sometimes,I sit down and think about who I am and who I want to be.Living as a Muslim in today’s society is certainly not easy.When so many things have become the norm.Things like mixing with the opposite gender,listening to music and a whole bunch of other things that you already know about because we all actively engage in one or the other.

Obviously,no one wants to do the wrong thing.I think ultimately people are just searching for happiness.So we choose to engage in things that we believe will make us happy.Personally,I like to have fun.I love the feeling of being happy and experiencing life.I mean who doesn’t right?But I also hate the guilt that comes with doing the wrong thing.I know,no one’s perfect.We all sin and will continue to do so because that’s how Allah SW created us.But life just seems so difficult sometimes.I guess in all this hullabaloo we end up losing our focus and even ourselves.

You know when something happens to you so many times,you start to think that’s how things are always going to be.You start to forget that things could be different.I guess constantly being on the wrong has got me doubting if I could ever be good.

 They say that experience is the best teacher and I completely agree.It’s just that there are some things you never think you’ll ever go through or experience until they actually happen to you and then you end up having that “Oh wow I never saw that coming” moment. 

But one thing I’ve learnt is that you cannot afford to give up.Just because you’ve made a lot of mistakes,committed a lot of sins,doesn’t mean your chances of becoming better have died along with the mistakes you’ve made.I do believe that Allah SW is in control and nothing happens without Him SW willing it.So yes,everything does happen for a reason.Whether we understand those reasons or not.

No matter how bad things get,better days are coming.Keep trying to be better,to excel in every aspect of your life whether physically,religiously or socially.Don’t let your mistakes blind you from seeing the lessons behind them.And so what if you mess up?That’s the funny thing about life,that’s how we learn.So keep your head up.Keep praying,keep learning and keep messing up.It’s definitely not going to be easy,but it will be worth it in the end, in shaa allah.

Sunny days and tonnes of assignments...

Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh!

Peace be upon you!

Hey guys!Its Sunday :) (obviously) tomorrow's Monday :/ in shaa allah :).Pardon the smileys i'm trying to fake excitement here.I figure if i can act excited long enough,it'll come naturally right?I mean...eventually.You know now that i think about it,i talk alot about assignments huh? O.o Nevertheless,i pray you guys are awesome in shaa allah.I'm hustling with assignments so...enjoy the view!

What are you guys upto?

We get insecure too!

Assalam Aleykum warahmatullahy wabarakatuhu!

Peace be upon you :)

Being a young person in this world is so complicated.Things have extremely changed.Then you add being Muslim to the mix and you have a whole new world of complicated.I used to think that because i was a Muslim,trying to practice my religion to the best of my abilities, i wasn't allowed to admit how hard it really is.So when anyone asked me about it or commented about Islam being so hard and having so many limitations,i would fiercely deny that with all the strength in me.Although deep down,i knew it was hard.I just thought by saying that,i would be admitting how weak i was.

So here i am going to this awesome university,with an intense amount of peer pressure and people who just can't seem to understand why shaking hands with the opposite gender is such a big deal.Here,girls dress to impress (where don't they right?),but not really to impress guys,but to outshine other girls.Here,outside appearances do matter,maybe too much.Unfortunately.And you know what?Sometimes it does get to me.That people see me and already assume they know everything about me.So excuse me when i admit that yes,i do get insecure sometimes.

But if you saw me along the hallways of the university,you would assume that i was probably one of the few people who didn't give a hoot about what people think of them.That i was one of those people who are so happy with where they are and who they are,that i never ever have any feelings of insecurity.Why?Because i walk with my head high every single time i walk those hallways.Because when people look at me funny because i cover my feet and wear black baggy clothes,i assert myself even more just to let them know that they've got nothing on me and absolutely no chance of bringing me down.And i like it like that.

But that doesn't mean that i don't get hurt when people make comments about me.Or judge me.I am human after all.

So some of my friends tell me,'why don't you just take it off,i mean other Muslims girls have done it,why not you?'I honestly don't blame them for having such thoughts or opinions because if they see a Muslimah come to school in abaya and then remove it and spend the rest of the day in a mini skirt,why should i not expect them to ask this? But then i tell them,'i would never take off my hijab and i pray that God (sw) never puts me in such a position.'

Usually, this is the moment when things get awkward. However i go on as if nothing extraordinary happened.It's just another normal day as a hijabi.


People don't understand a lot of things.They don't understand exactly how the brain works,but they know its crucial that it works.Asking a Muslimah to explain why they cover up is like asking one to explain love.We could explain the basics like its a command from Allah (sw) and we do it to worship Him,but it has such a great impact on a person that you just can't put in words.You feel it in your heart and know its the real deal.Its exciting,exhilarating and at the same time absolutely terrifying!You have doubts from time to time and people will tell you you're crazy.And sometimes you tend to think that maybe you really are crazy.

But you're not.Your just...inlove. :) So when you see a sister in hijab or a sister without hijab,don't think you already know their story.Everyone has a different story to tell. Don't judge.You don't know what psychological warfare someone could be facing.And you don't know what kind of future Allah (sw) has planned for them,or for you.So for those sisters who don't feel like their good enough to wear hijab or someone is telling you that your hijab isn't good enough,forget them.This journey is between you and Allah (sw). Ask Allah (sw) to help you better yourself and to beautify your character with Islam.Ask Him to fill your heart with love and understanding of this deen.
And when those blue days come knocking at your door to remind you of all the mean comments, and the insecurities come flowing in,just shrug and say 'hey,everybody gets insecure once in a while,i guess today's my turn.'
Then have some chocolates :D

Philosophy and its absurd questions.

Assalam Aleykum Dreamers!!

So...

Funny thing that happened in my life, society and environment class (fancy way of saying biology class),our lecturer asked us a philosophical question...how do you know that you living life and actually going about with your daily chores is not actually a dream? How do you know you're not really dreaming?

And there was dead silence as everyone keenly pondered upon this intensely stupefying
question. Meanwhile I was busy wondering why these people around me were thinking so much about something so simple. This life is a dream.

Albert Einstein once said "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

So true.
I reckon that falsehood repeated so many times eventually starts to be deemed as truth. The classic tactic used by most politicians, if not all. But that is the truth. This world is a dream. A lie. An illusion. Reality begins when the angel of death comes knocking at our door.

In the Holy Quran,Allah (Sw) tells us:

The life of this world is but a sport and a past time.Surely the Home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear God.Will you not understand? (6:32)

The life of this world is nothing but sport and a diversion.It is the life of the Hereafter which is the only true life,if they but knew it. (29:64)

The life of this world is only a game, a pastime,but if you believe and are mindful of God,He will recompense you and will not ask you for your wealth. (47:36)

Never forget that the life of this world is only a game and a passing delight, a show, and mutual boasting and trying to out rival each other in riches and children.It is like the growth of vegetation after the rain,which delights the planter,but which then withers away,turns yellow and becomes worthless stubble.In the life to come there will be a terrible punishment,or God's forgiveness and approval: the life of this world is nothing but means of deception. (57:20)

But the truth is, we are such forgetful beings. One minute we are filled with an eeman rush that makes us feel like we can do anything for the sake of Allah sw and the next we're immersed in sins that continuously haunt us and remind us of how weak we really are.

Sometimes you do want to forget and live in the moment. But lets not sell our hereafter for a mere 60 or 70 years. If we even get to live that long. Sometimes it does get too much and takes a toll on us. Makes us think that we just can't do it. That we'll never be good enough. But that is the devil and his whispering. Fight it.


All I can say, is make dua. Always. In all ways. Remind yourself everyday all day. Put posters in your room. Notes in your diary. Reminders on your phone. Watch the right things and lower your gaze. In shaa Allah Allah sw will give all of us the strength to carry on and will reward us abundantly for our efforts. Ameen.