Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh
Amakuru!!! (Hello in Kinyarwanda) 😃
As I start off writing this post, I have no idea what exactly I’m going to write, but I do feel that I need to explain my sudden hiatus before I jump back into my regular posts. First of all I’ve missed you guys a tonne! I’ve missed blogging so much, however this break was highly necessary, to refresh and recollect. There isn’t one particular reason as to why I took this break, it’s more of an amalgamation of different reasons that followed each other consecutively thus ridding me of the time and motivation to blog.
Initially I had decided to take a break from blogging to remind myself of why I started. I explained some of it on my Facebook page (which is where I do most of my mini posts when I’m not on here), where I basically said that I needed to do some soul searching. I had lost the excitement of blogging and my ideas didn’t seem as capturing as they initially were. They no longer made me want to jump out of bed in the morning and take awesome pictures for my next post, nor did they make me enthusiastic about sitting on my laptop and racking my brains for some sensible words to come to me.
I had lost sight of why I started blogging and focused too much on what I could get out of it. I was constantly checking on my numbers to see how big of a blogger I was and how I could get even bigger in order for my blog to mean something. Somehow I had come to attach the essence and value of my blog to how big of a following I had on my different social platforms, and how much money or brands I could capture through my blog. I was constantly comparing myself to other bloggers and questioning how good I was, questioning how important my blog was. And thus I had sucked the life out of blogging. It was no longer a hobby or something that I enjoyed, rather it became a chore, an exhausting and unexciting activity.
When I took the break, I ceased to do things for the sake of having an outcome and simply did them because I wanted to and enjoyed it. I found myself once more because I was no longer taking part in my art for anyone else, but I was doing it simply to make myself happy. It didn’t matter if no one liked my picture, shared my post or retweeted my tweet because the external forces didn’t matter anymore, only what I thought. And I finally realized that love really is the answer, I know that’s a corny cliché, but it’s so true. In my case, it was the love of what I do and the joy it brings to my heart. Once I realized that I was looking outwards instead of inwards, It dawned on me that I was doing it all wrong and I had to change. And just like that I was ready to get back to my love once more.
However life has it’s ups and downs and it happened that my grandma passed away, someone who’s closeness to me was engraved in the depths of my soul. She was a tough cookie that one, I miss her so much. But such is the will of Allah (Subhana Wata’ala) and it is to Him we belong and to Him we shall return. After that, I felt I needed time to mourn and simply adjust to life without her, especially with the fact that I’m now living in my her house (may Allah Subhanallah have mercy on her), it’s such a strange feeling but Alhamdulillah I’m getting used to it. It also helps to be surrounded with friends and family which I have plenty of at the house.
Following that was that I was preparing for my exchange to Rwanda which is where I currently am!!!I am super excited to share my journey in Rwanda with you guys and I have so much to tell you. Since this post is about my disappearing act, I’m going to leave things here and tell you all about my adventures in Rwanda in a different and more concrete post God willing!Thank you so much for sticking around, and for the love and support. I’ve been super active on my social media so if we aren’t friends on there yet, lets catch up shall we!As always, I love hearing from you guys!xoxo