Assalam Aleykum Warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh!
Hello my loves!
Lately I’ve
been thinking quite abit about life-my life, my present, past and what I want
for myself in the future. I’ve been contemplating upon the concept of being
fierce and living life bravely and boldly. However I do have to say that
although this ‘press pause and reflect’ mode was activated greatly by the
circumstances I was in, it was also highly inspired by Shameless Maya. If you
don’t know who she is, you should definitely check out her channel and ruminate in all
she’s about!
I’ve been watching Maya’s videos since
forever, and I even remember showing one of her inspirational videos about
being fearless and going for the gold in an entrepreneurship conference that I
was spearheading. To me Maya isn’t just another Youtuber I watch, rather a
mentor, an advisor, an influencer and one of my biggest inspirations. Her story
is truly inspiring and I'm sure most of you will find it quite ravishing.
However it’s
only recently when I seriously sat down and thought about her message and
brand, ‘Be shameless.’ Although I’ve been watching her for ages and hearing the
‘be shameless’ mantra over and over again, it’s only a few days ago when I
genuinely understood what she meant and hence decided that from now on, I
would be Shameless, fearless, bold, brave and fierce in the pursuit of what makes
me happy.
From back in
the day when I was still yungin’ (lol is that even a thing), I remember always desperately trying to seek the approval
of others. I was always worried that I wasn’t good enough and would ultimately disappoint one or the other. I got myself into bad company because I was too
scared to say no, too afraid of what my ‘friends’ would think. I compromised my
ideas and views because I was afraid of upsetting the status quo. But the most unfortunate part of it all is that I let people talk me out of my dreams and
convince me that what they wanted for me was what I wanted. And
for the longest time I walked my path careful not to upset anyone; neither my
friends nor my family, yet all along I was upsetting myself. But that wasn’t
important because I wasn’t important, I wasn’t a priority.
I vividly
recall during a Parent teacher meeting in high school where my Kiswahili
teacher told my guardian that the reason why I wasn’t performing well was
because I was often so keen on pleasing everyone else that I failed to notice
how I was completely disregarding myself. At the time I thought she was
stretching the situation a tad bit too much, but as I look at it now I realize she was spot
on. I was so desperate to get people to like me that I would end up putting
myself in troublesome situations just so that someone- anyone would consider me to be part
of their squad. And when it wasn't about trying to please my friends, it was
about trying to please my teachers or my family; and quite frankly, it was
exhausting.
For the
longest time I hid the fact that I had a blog, I didn’t want anyone to know
because deep down I didn’t think my writing was good enough. And then I
thought...what if they don’t like it? What if they think it’s stupid and dumb?
Then I’m stupid and dumb which means that I’m an embarrassment, I’m a failure.
And let’s face it, the fear of failure is a deep and dark abyss filled with
crippling doubts and non-existent monsters. But I’ve made the decision to be
done with that. And even as I make this declaration I can hear the ‘what if’s’
and ‘don’t kid yourself’ slowly creeping in from the back of my mind, but
someone once told me that there is more value in trying and failing than in not
trying at all. So I have to try, and I have to give it my all.
Having the guts to be your true self definitely takes courage.It’s not easy having to
search within yourself for truths that you might not be ready to come to terms
with, but I promise you that confronting your truth will open doors that you never even knew existed.So go for it.
Being
Shameless to me means daring to dream and dreaming actively and confidently. It
means planning and strategizing and sacrificing what you need to, to get to
where you need to go and create the life you want. It means being fearless and
fierce when all you want to do is run. It means being confident in the belief
that what I have to offer is worthwhile and important. So enough with the
people pleasing, with the worrying about what everyone thinks, with the shame
and the fear. It’s time to start living and to start living shamelessly.