Thursday, November 7, 2013

We get insecure too!

Assalam Aleykum warahmatullahy wabarakatuhu!
Peace be upon you :)

Being a young person in this world is so complicated.Things have extremely changed.Then you add being Muslim to the mix and you have a whole new world of complicated.I used to think that because i was a Muslim,trying to practice my religion to the best of my abilities, i wasn't allowed to admit how hard it really is.So when anyone asked me about it or commented about Islam being so hard and having so many limitations,i would fiercely deny that with all the strength in me.Although deep down,i knew it was hard.I just thought by saying that,i would be admitting how weak i was.

So here i am going to this awesome university,with an intense amount of peer pressure and people who just can't seem to understand why shaking hands with the opposite gender is such a big deal.Here,girls dress to impress (where don't they right?),but not really to impress guys,but to outshine other girls.Here,outside appearances do matter,maybe too much.Unfortunately.And you know what?Sometimes it does get to me.That people see me and already assume they know everything about me.So excuse me when i admit that yes,i do get insecure sometimes.

But if you saw me along the hallways of the university,you would assume that i was probably one of the few people who didn't give a hoot about what people think of them.That i was one of those people who are so happy with where they are and who they are,that i never ever have any feelings of insecurity.Why?Because i walk with my head high every single time i walk those hallways.Because when people look at me funny because i cover my feet and wear black baggy clothes,i assert myself even more just to let them know that they've got nothing on me and absolutely no chance of bringing me down.And i like it like that.

But that doesn't mean that i don't get hurt when people make comments about me.Or judge me.I am human after all.

So some of my friends tell me,'why don't you just take it off,i mean other Muslims girls have done it,why not you?'I honestly don't blame them for having such thoughts or opinions because if they see a Muslimah come to school in abaya and then remove it and spend the rest of the day in a mini skirt,why should i not expect them to ask this? But then i tell them,'i would never take off my hijab and i pray that God (sw) never puts me in such a position.'

Usually, this is the moment when things get awkward. However i go on as if nothing extraordinary happened.It's just another normal day as a hijabi.

People don't understand a lot of things.They don't understand exactly how the brain works,but they know its crucial that it works.Asking a Muslimah to explain why they cover up is like asking one to explain love.We could explain the basics like its a command from Allah (sw) and we do it to worship Him,but it has such a great impact on a person that you just can't put in words.You feel it in your heart and know its the real deal.Its exciting,exhilarating and at the same time absolutely terrifying!You have doubts from time to time and people will tell you you're crazy.And sometimes you tend to think that maybe you really are crazy.

But you're not.Your just...inlove. :) So when you see a sister in hijab or a sister without hijab,don't think you already know their story.Everyone has a different story to tell. Don't judge.You don't know what psychological warfare someone could be facing.And you don't know what kind of future Allah (sw) has planned for them,or for you.So for those sisters who don't feel like their good enough to wear hijab or someone is telling you that your hijab isn't good enough,forget them.This journey is between you and Allah (sw). Ask Allah (sw) to help you better yourself and to beautify your character with Islam.Ask Him to fill your heart with love and understanding of this deen.
And when those blue days come knocking at your door to remind you of all the mean comments, and the insecurities come flowing in,just shrug and say 'hey,everybody gets insecure once in a while,i guess today's my turn.'
Then have some chocolates :D

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Philosophy and its absurd questions.

Assalam Aleykum Dreamers!!


Funny thing that happened in my life, society and environment class (fancy way of saying biology class),our lecturer asked us a philosophical do you know that you living life and actually going about with your daily chores is not actually a dream? How do you know you're not really dreaming?

And there was dead silence as everyone keenly pondered upon this intensely stupefying
question. Meanwhile was busy wondering why these people around me were thinking so much about something so simple. This life is a dream.

Albert Einstein once said "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

So true.
I reckon that falsehood repeated so many times eventually starts to be deemed as truth. The classic tactic used by most politicians, if not all. But that is the truth. This world is a dream. A lie. An illusion. Reality begins when the angel of death comes knocking at our door.

In the Holy Quran,Allah (Sw) tells us:

The life of this world is but a sport and a past time.Surely the Home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear God.Will you not understand? (6:32)

The life of this world is nothing but sport and a diversion.It is the life of the Hereafter which is the only true life,if they but knew it. (29:64)

The life of this world is only a game, a pastime,but if you believe and are mindful of God,He will recompense you and will not ask you for your wealth. (47:36)

Never forget that the life of this world is only a game and a passing delight, a show, and mutual boasting and trying to out rival each other in riches and children.It is like the growth of vegetation after the rain,which delights the planter,but which then withers away,turns yellow and becomes worthless stubble.In the life to come there will be a terrible punishment,or God's forgiveness and approval: the life of this world is nothing but means of deception. (57:20)

But the truth is, we are such forgetful beings. One minute we are filled with an eeman rush that makes us feel like we can do anything for the sake of Allah sw and the next we're immersed in sins that continuously haunt us and remind us of how weak we really are.

Sometimes you do want to forget and live in the moment. But lets not sell our hereafter for a mere 60 or 70 years. If we even get to live that long. Sometimes it does get too much and takes a toll on us. Makes us think that we just can't do it. That we'll never be good enough. But that is the devil and his whispering. Fight it.

All I can say, is make dua. Always. In all ways. Remind yourself everyday all day. Put posters in your room. Notes in your diary. Reminders on your phone. Watch the right things and lower your gaze. In shaa Allah Allah sw will give all of us the strength to carry on and will reward us abundantly for our efforts. Ameen.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Life is so beautiful. And you are too.Promise.

Assalam Aleykum Dreamers!
Peace be you upon all.

This post is most definitely long overdue.It's been haunting me constantly,making me rack my brains out like a maniac. Mostly because  I felt that i needed to write something deep and well researched regarding this topic. Simply for the fact that it has been discussed ad naseaum. If I was going do this,I was going to have to go big or basically go home. Go home broke, alone, rejected and a failure.

But I wasn't really feeling that vibe.

So I procrastinated the writing...and 'researching.'

And procrastinated.

And procrastinated.

Until on one dark still Saturday night, 1.04 a.m, battling it out with a fierce flu that attacked me ruthlessly out of nowhere...I decided enough is enough.
I'm just going to wing it. That's where the best things come from right?Right.
I hope.

So here  I am. So much has transpired over the past few weeks. Though nothing's peculiar about that. That's life. But going through my first semester in university, spiritual renewal during Ramadhan, and celebrating Eid, the issue of beauty really took a toll on me. And I guess I was ashamed of admitting that. I'm not quite sure why, perhaps I felt it somewhat shallow.

Being a hijabi (a Muslim girl who covers) I've grown up with the perception that beauty just wasn't for me. Not for me in the sense of if I wasn't going to dress up when I was leaving the house like everyone else, what was the point of having all the nice clothes and accessories?The glitz and glamour?

A friend of mine once told me, 'Kadzo,the whole point of dressing up is to flaunt what you've got.If you've got it show it off!That's the rule of the game.'

As hard as it may be to admit,many Muslim women also share this thought. Atleast in my country they do. I personally don't blame them because I was there too and I could see where such an ideology would come from. A materialistic society. Where everywhere you look,everything you see, strives to constantly remind you of the harsh reality: the one with the most toys wins.The one with the best looks (according to what fits society) gets the job, gets the money,gets the respect and gets the guy...or girl and thus gets the ultimate prize: happiness.
But they lied.They lied to all of us.

So when Ramadhan came, I saw it as an opportunity to remind myself of what was truly important.Wanting to fit into university, but not losing yourself either can be one of the most exhilarating, most confusing and difficult things to do.
We all want to belong,but at what cost?

My hijab is meant to keep me grounded. I see that now. It reminds me of what's truly important on a daily basis. It inspires me to better my character, share with others and open my mind to the beauty that surrounds me.When I look in the mirror, i'm looking at not just the exterior, but what's within as well. I'm looking at what I'm representing: my religion, strength, courage and beauty.
However most times we tend to focus more on the exterior and whether it fits into the relevant box approved by society.

I had to ask myself why.Why was I having such a difficult time trying to dress for my Creator and not His Creation? Was my self-worth so attached to my clothes and the way I looked that without them I was...nothing? Wasn't that giving way too much meaning to exterior me and completely forsaking the real me? My soul and all?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful on the outside. I've come to learn that it's not shallow, its not dumb. Far from that, it's actually quite fulfilling and exciting. However, the question of the day is are you a slave to your looks?  To the fashion magazines, your hair, make up or all that mambo jumbo that we are made to believe that without...we're doomed to failure and a life of loneliness with stray cats? Because trust me,life is too beautiful to put that much focus outside, forgetting that what's on the inside will eventually manifest on the outside.

So here's my advice that no one really asked for but is more so for myself...and anyone else out there who may need it: look good,feel good, but also invest in yourself. Read a book, step out of your comfort zone,try something new or do something you've been wanting to do but were too scared to. Learn who you are. Love yourself and accept yourself. Don't go through life always seeking to please people, because that will only get you to depression avenue, trust me! Be true to yourself, your values and most importantly, what you believe in.

In shaa Allah you'll be fine.

We'll all be fine.

'Keep  fast on Allah (sw's) commandment and you will find him in front of you.Recognize God in times of prosperity, and He will recognize you in times of hardship.Know that what missed you was never meant to hit you and what hit you was never meant to miss you.Know that success comes with steadfastness and that the relief comes with distress,and that that with hardship comes ease.'