Thursday, November 7, 2013

We get insecure too!

Assalam Aleykum warahmatullahy wabarakatuhu!
Peace be upon you :)

Being a young person in this world is so complicated.Things have extremely changed.Then you add being Muslim to the mix and you have a whole new world of complicated.I used to think that because i was a Muslim,trying to practice my religion to the best of my abilities, i wasn't allowed to admit how hard it really is.So when anyone asked me about it or commented about Islam being so hard and having so many limitations,i would fiercely deny that with all the strength in me.Although deep down,i knew it was hard.I just thought by saying that,i would be admitting how weak i was.

So here i am going to this awesome university,with an intense amount of peer pressure and people who just can't seem to understand why shaking hands with the opposite gender is such a big deal.Here,girls dress to impress (where don't they right?),but not really to impress guys,but to outshine other girls.Here,outside appearances do matter,maybe too much.Unfortunately.And you know what?Sometimes it does get to me.That people see me and already assume they know everything about me.So excuse me when i admit that yes,i do get insecure sometimes.

But if you saw me along the hallways of the university,you would assume that i was probably one of the few people who didn't give a hoot about what people think of them.That i was one of those people who are so happy with where they are and who they are,that i never ever have any feelings of insecurity.Why?Because i walk with my head high every single time i walk those hallways.Because when people look at me funny because i cover my feet and wear black baggy clothes,i assert myself even more just to let them know that they've got nothing on me and absolutely no chance of bringing me down.And i like it like that.

But that doesn't mean that i don't get hurt when people make comments about me.Or judge me.I am human after all.

So some of my friends tell me,'why don't you just take it off,i mean other Muslims girls have done it,why not you?'I honestly don't blame them for having such thoughts or opinions because if they see a Muslimah come to school in abaya and then remove it and spend the rest of the day in a mini skirt,why should i not expect them to ask this? But then i tell them,'i would never take off my hijab and i pray that God (sw) never puts me in such a position.'

Usually, this is the moment when things get awkward. However i go on as if nothing extraordinary happened.It's just another normal day as a hijabi.

People don't understand a lot of things.They don't understand exactly how the brain works,but they know its crucial that it works.Asking a Muslimah to explain why they cover up is like asking one to explain love.We could explain the basics like its a command from Allah (sw) and we do it to worship Him,but it has such a great impact on a person that you just can't put in words.You feel it in your heart and know its the real deal.Its exciting,exhilarating and at the same time absolutely terrifying!You have doubts from time to time and people will tell you you're crazy.And sometimes you tend to think that maybe you really are crazy.

But you're not.Your just...inlove. :) So when you see a sister in hijab or a sister without hijab,don't think you already know their story.Everyone has a different story to tell. Don't judge.You don't know what psychological warfare someone could be facing.And you don't know what kind of future Allah (sw) has planned for them,or for you.So for those sisters who don't feel like their good enough to wear hijab or someone is telling you that your hijab isn't good enough,forget them.This journey is between you and Allah (sw). Ask Allah (sw) to help you better yourself and to beautify your character with Islam.Ask Him to fill your heart with love and understanding of this deen.
And when those blue days come knocking at your door to remind you of all the mean comments, and the insecurities come flowing in,just shrug and say 'hey,everybody gets insecure once in a while,i guess today's my turn.'
Then have some chocolates :D


  1. MashaAllah sister I love how you just write which seems to come straight from the heart. Hijab is deep and yes most of us wear it to obey and please our Lord who commanded us to wear it but the attachment the love you have for it can not always be easy to express. When I see a sister without it after being with it I feel for her because it can not be easy to remove a veil Allah placed upon you. So many feelings and insecure one's too must surround the sister and Allah knows best I can only imagine. I make dua for all of us because jihad of the nafs is just as hard as jihad on the battle field!
    Your blog is refreshing mashaAllah glad I came across it.

    1. Jazakillah khayran sanaa!Its so true,jihad of the nafs is such a great battle!But Allah sw only tests those whom He loves,no matter what we have to remember that our strength comes only from Allah sw.May He make it easy for all of us.Jazakillah khayran for your kind words sis :) love always xoxo.